July - Mom

Kim Stuart came into town and we had dinner with Jennifer Edwards, Sharon, Joy and I.  It was fun to visit with her.  I still can't imagine being her age, 59, and having a 6 year old! 

It was obviously the week of getting together to eat with friends.  On the 3rd I got together with Debbie Kriby and Terri Hodgen.

The day before, on the 2nd, Jacob and I went to Heidi's to go swimming and see Malia, Mackenzie and their kids.  They were in town for a week to visit.  Thursday David's family came to visit so we had to see them that day.  Boone and Eden were down for naps, but we got to swim with Rio, Oscar and Brady (for a bit--he was tired).  Rio is a little guppy and she and Oscar were so fun!  Wish we could have seen them more.  Too bad we forgot to take pictures!

Jaxon couldn't come so Wendy tried to take his
place.  

Friday was 4th of July.  We went over to Randy and MarySue's with Steve and Hanna for lunch.  Visited in the afternoon.  That night Catheys came over for dinner, games and then we went to the South Town Mall to see fireworks.  We walked around the mall area, looking at booths, the flag set up and then put chairs down to watch the fireworks.

Jacob and I hit 7-11 day for some Slurpee's.  We usually forget and go in the afternoon and the machines have been working all day....so the Slurpee isn't very frozen.  But this day they were 100%!

We had Andersons over for s'mores

We decided to try and get out this year to Draper Day activities.  On Wednesday (no picture) we went to Draper Idol.  On Friday night we got sub sandwiches and wen to the evening concert and fireworks.  Unfortunately it got rained out.  

Draper Days parade

Saturday morning we went to Catheys and walked with them over to Fort Street to see the parade.  Jaxon was driving a go cart from Boondocks where he works. 

After the parade we walked back to Catheys and went with them to the park for the fireman's breakfast.  by this time it was about 11:30 so we headed over to Canyon View Credit Union where they were doing free tacos for lunch.  During the parade they handed out fliers inviting people to come.  

Went home for a rest.  Then at 4 p.m. I went back to the park (when I say back to the park it means I parked at Draper Elem., and walked up the pathway to the southwest corner of the park to enter) and walked to the pavillon for Bingo.  Catheys met me there.  It was crowded and I didn't win!  Ashlyn did--she got a popcorn maker.  

After bingo we walked around the park and I went back to the car to get a chair and umbrella. Jason and Jacob came over with pizzas for the evening concert. It was so hot!  We ate pizza with Catheys, the girls walked around with friends, Jaxon was working the Boondocks booth so he couldn't hang out with Jacob, so Jacob went home.  We listened to the concert and he came back later for the fireworks.  Because the show had been canceled the evening before the mayor said, the show won't be longer, just bigger.  The fireworks were really good!  I got about 13,000 steps that day. Fun day!

Me trying to eat with chopsticks

Mom has been getting her radiation done.  3 weeks of 5 days a week.  By the end of last week she felt like she had cracked a rib so Heidi drove her to her appointment.  The Dr. gave here some prednisone and that helped.  He said the radiation was probably causing some pleurisy and the meds would reduce inflammation. 

I took her on Monday, the 21st,  to make sure she was ok.  

On Wednesday, the 23rd, some friends of Marcia's, from her ward, threw her a surprise 60th bday party.  

It was fun.  Someone had connections to a room that worked perfectly.  She was surprised.  

They had nachos, desserts, etc. and I was able to talk to Andrea Timothy for a while.  Fun to catch up. 

 

Jacob was invited to go to Lake Powell with the Harrisons, a family in our ward.  He left on Thursday, the 24th to go down and that day scout out a location for the houseboat.  It is a beautiful new houseboat.  The family has some connections.  I told Jacob this is not a normal houseboat.  He gets back on August 1.

Jacob texted us on Saturday night (the 26th) that he is so glad he did the online boat license...It meant he could drive the jet ski by himself (since he is under 18).  He said he went 45 mph.  Sounds like he is having a great time!

On Thursday, July 24, 2005 Mom pass away.  

I had gotten up, exercised, gotten Jacob off with Troy Harrison for Lake Powell, dressed, watched the 24th of July parade...just daily stuff.  

About 1 p.m. Heidi called and asked if I was alone (Jason was upstairs working), and she told me that mom had passed away.  I was SOOO SHOCKED.  I had just seen her on Monday and she looked good.  She said she felt fine.  

I couldn't believe it!  Jason drove me down to Springville where everyone was before they took her body.  She looked like she was asleep...so peaceful. The only thing I thought was (she was on the floor) she would not like to be on the floor like that!  :)

Tanner and Brook had gone over about noon to say hi.  They walked into the kitchen and she was sitting in the rocking chair and looked asleep.  They couldn't wake her, called Kristina who told them to call 911.  911 told them to do CPR while they sent paramedics.  Tanner had to try and lift her out of the rocking chair so they could try to do CPR.  The police arrived with the paramedics and they tried, but obviously she was gone.  The police had to check it out to make sure it wasn't a crime.  

Joy had taken her to radiation the day before and mom said she wasn't feeling well.  We assume she had gotten up on Thursday, did her make-up and hair, went into the kitchen to get breakfast (her pills and shake were made and on the counter waiting).  She probably felt she needed to sit down, went to her chair and passed away.  I feel so badly for Tanner and Brook to have been the ones to find her.  It was so hard on them.   

It has been so hard for me!  With dad we had months to know he was going to pass.  We spent time with him and said good-bye.  When he passed we were at peace with it because he was no longer in pain.  With mom, I know she was 86, but I always assumed she'd live longer like her mom (who passed at 94).  We did spend time with her, but it wasn't the "you're going to pass away" kind of time.  Just everyday life time--which is great, but hard.  

It is like she left without saying good-bye, but what a great way for her!  She lived her life doing the things she enjoyed, family, friends, temple, etc.  We never had to have a conversation about her no longer being able to live by herself anymore, she loved her home and was able to stay there with her family and ward close by to the end.

As days pass it gets a little easier (at least I'm not crying all the time).  With dad's passing it wasn't a final closure.  Mom was still there, the house, family get togethers etc., life goes on, but with mom's passing it puts a finality to it.  Life goes on, but without much of that.  We, as siblings, have talked about wanting to stay close and together...as the family gets bigger that gets hard to do.  I hope we can accomplish it.  Love you mom!  

After being they took mom's body we dispersed and headed home.  Jason's family was having dinner for 24th of July and we went there. It was nice to have a distraction.  While we were there my family decided to a zoom call.  So I sat off to the side to talk to them about how we were going to move.  

Heidi posted this tribute to mom on social media.  It was so well written.  While I don't have all of the same memories, I feel the same sentiment.  

"Today my dear sweet mother passed away in her home. It was unexpected and devastating. She was my best friend, confidant, fav person, and greatest example of Christ-like living. Everything she did was with the intention of doing good. She deeply cared about people and took the time to get to know them, be interested in them, and pray for them. She was vibrant and charming and sincere. She loved music, especially the Tabernacle Choir. She loved her family and especially Jesus Christ.  She was in our home constantly celebrating birthdays, Christmas, Easter, Thanksgiving… she attended all of my children’s sports and music recitals, graduations, talks in church and anything else we were a part of. She’d call each of us on our birthdays if we were apart and sing to us. We went to all the national parks in Utah together, traveled to Hawaii, weddings, and every other important event. I will always be so grateful for her joyful, happy disposition and her desire to spread joy everywhere she went telling people jokes. I will be forever grateful that she showed me what living a Christ-like life looked like. I always depended on her prayers on my behalf because I knew her faith could move mountains. I will miss her sweet scent, soft cheeks, and her lightly scratching my back or arms when I sat near her. I will miss hearing the way she said “bye bye” when we hung up the phone. Her little fingers twinkling a wave goodbye to me. I will miss feeling her love for me each time I saw her. I will miss her everyday for the rest of my life because she was the greatest mother I could ever imagine. I love you forever mom!!!"

On Friday Joy and I went to the funeral home (Heidi was in N. Carolina with Linnea who just had her cute baby boy Carter.  Kristina wasn't in town yet) to go over things with Lance (who did Dad's funeral).  They now have a webpage that assists you in the things that need to get done.  Funeral plan, obituary, Death Certificate, etc.  

We went over parts of it with Lance and then a link was sent to all the siblings so we could see what was done and what needed to be done.  We made general program outline and got the death certificate information going.  We wanted Parker to play for the funeral and Heidi talked to him.  This is what he said:

"Was able to talk to Parker about playing the song for the funeral. He told me that while Mackenzie and the kids were still here this summer he felt like someone was going to pass and he should practice that song so he would come home from work each night and practice into the night so he would be ready but he just didn’t think it would be mom. Anyway, just wanted you to know he’s ready and so happy to play for it. Love you all!"

We also began to talk about where we were going to stay in San Francisco and when to go out.  We had assumed that the burial could be on Tuesday, but the cemetery could only do Wednesday, August 6.  We also talked about who should be notified and how many of each family would be coming for the funeral luncheon.  Lots and lots of details!

On Saturday I went to lunch with Le Ann, Haeli, Judy, Shanae, Brenda, and Margaret for summer bdays.  We had to put it off until end of July because everyone kept having funerals to go.  It was fun to visit with everyone.  I've known these girls for 30 years!

Monday afternoon Joy, Kristina, Heidi and I met to finalize the obituary.  The link Lance sent us enabled us to put in key words and AI made the obituary and we could tweak it.  Pretty handy.  Then we went to the funeral home to pick a casket and make sure things were good with what we had done so far.  We were now working with Shane--they work together and Lance had a family reunion that week.  

We decided we did not want just a QR code program.  We wanted them printed.  So we began working on that...they have moved to QR codes because it is so much easier to change.  

By Tuesday everyone was in town and we had a siblings dinner with spouses.  We talked about a few things with mom's funeral, the finances, what we had access to (Heidi was on mom's account so we had money available right away) and visited.  It was at Heidi's and we had a nice time.