Do you ever do something and then, after it is done, you think of all the ways you could have done it better? I do.
I think sometimes about all I have done, my mission, my career and now as a mother. In the moment you do the best you can, but looking back you can always see ways you could have done better.
My job is a good example. I worked for 19 years and I still identify myself with that--probably more than I identify myself as a mother. When you work there are markers of immediate success and with education there is always a beginning (September) and an end (May)of the school year.
I belong to the BYU School of Education Alumni Committee and yesterday we had a meeting. The HR director for Provo District is on the committee and I talked to him for a few minutes afterward. The principal position for my old school, Spring Creek, is open again. I knew about it and have thought about what it would be like to go back. He asked if I knew about the opening, I told him I did and it was a little tempting. He said that if I wanted to come back they would take me right now to fill the position.
That was a great thing to hear. You always wonder (at least I do) if you reapplied for your old job if they would take you back? I have looked back on my job and thought of all the things I could have done better and the new perspective that I have now as a mother that would add to what I do.
Then I think about Jacob. If I went back to work he would be at daycare a minimum of 10 hours a day! He would miss me and I would miss him. When it comes down to it, for all the positives that come with work ($$$, retirement, etc.), there are too many things I would miss with Jacob and I look forward to getting involved with him in his own school.
Hearing that they would take me back at work is nice because even though there are things I didn't do, they did value and appreciate the things I did do. Kind of nice to know :)